Forever Five.

Today, my son, you are turning five. A simple fact that leaves me baffled. These past five years seem to have been the fastest I've ever known and yet, that small baby I welcomed at the hospital also seems a far distant memory to the little man you are today. I also welcome this day with enormous amounts of joy (and maybe a little sadness too), because I realize how blessed I am to have been given even a moment as your mother, let alone five glorious years. I am humbled by the gift that you have been to your Father and me. You were my first great adventure in motherhood and a part of me feels as though you and I are finishing our first of many chapters together.

This birthday, like all of your birthdays, always leaves me quietly assessing the person you are growing up to be. A little boy who is boundless. Who, while he knows his limits, quietly teaches himself how to grow past them. You are a never-ending wave of questions and theories, constantly wanting to know how things work and how the things around him connect and intertwine. As your mother this is equal parts maddening, as well as beautiful. Your questions, while they are many, all serve a purpose. They are the questions of a little boy who understands and sees so much more than his five years. They are the questions of a young man, as much as it pains me to admit. You're evolving much faster than I had ever anticipated. The older you become, the more challenges you offer me as a parent. How do I harness such brilliance? How do I help guide such innocence? How do I temper a young boy who stands so confidently in his ways?

Your questions and inquiries stop at nothing, especially when it comes to my methods in parenthood. You stand toe to toe with me when you are fighting for something. I've sometimes even had to concede to your side, because you present me with sound logic and reasoning, even at only five years old. You bring a complexity to my job as your mother. Just when I feel as though I have mastered the art of who you are, you become someone totally different. The layers of yourself that you have allowed me to share and learn from, have made me a better person. Your extremely literal view of the world around you has allowed me, even in my adulthood, to questions things I never thought to. Your thirst for information is something that has even surprised those who do not know you. A small boy who wants to know the names of clouds and who asks me to search the internet for pictures of giant jellyfish and what pufferfish eat. You have a mind that is simply a wonder to sit back and watch work.

So today, you will turn five. And while a part of me wishes that I could keep you forever five, my curiosity overcomes the sentiment. I cannot wait to watch you grow to six, to 10, to 30. Because as I sit here and write this to you at five, I can already see that man who I will write to at 30 years old. The center of who you are, who you will become, you have worn like a badge since our first day together five years ago. I knew then, as I know now, that you would be someone great. Someone kind, someone caring, someone passionate and curious. You are everything now, that I knew you'd be then, as well as exponentially more than I could have ever imagined. I thank you for choosing me to be your mother. Thank you for allowing me to be the one who would get to care for such a bright and loving child. I only hope that I can share a lifetime of birthdays with you.

Happy Birthday, my son.
I love you forever.

Mommy