There has been a part of me as of late, that has felt extremely jaded. Unfortunately for me, this part of me was once occupied by a resounding optimism; a hope that all bad things could be overcome. Little by little, though, that part of me is becoming hardened. I find I have no willingness to speak to others about certain topics, no heart to even look at some of the things that people are saying to each other. It has all become so ugly and quite frankly, I want no part of it. There are many people that would say that I should 'be the change I want to see in the world', and they would be absolutely correct. I AM going to create change in this world, but not by arguing with others, not by demeaning those who do not agree with my vantage point. I am going to help to mold my children, the future of this country, into caring, loving, respectable human beings. I sat last night, watching the election, and it wasn't the winner or the loser that had me upset; it was the complete division of this country. To see that our country was very much split right down the middle... I hadn't felt that saddened in a long time. Then to see how we all turned on each other in such an awful way; it was in this moment that I realized how important the sweet little boys sleeping above my head, actually were. How vital they are to what is honest and true about us all as people. And how if I ever wanted to see real compassion, honesty, and respect returned in any way to humanity, I would have to help create it in them.
So to my sons, I make the following promises:
I will show you what honesty really is.
Honesty is not always being frank, or blunt. Honesty is about being open, about acceptance. You should not use it as a tool to belittle others, or to further yourself, but to cleanse. Honesty should be the basis of all that you do, it should be the compass by which you guide yourself. It should not only be pointed outward, but inward as well.
There should be no reason that respect is ever forgone.
There will never be a situation that you find yourself in, that respectfulness should ever leave you. There may be others you meet in your life that you cannot find the respect to give to, but it is with those people that you should find the respect for yourself. Your words and actions will become the core of all that you are and you are always going to have to answer for them. Emotions should be steered with not only our heart, but our head, and our gut. Disrespecting others will only ever lead you down a road of disrespecting yourself.
When all else fails, find compassion.
You may not always understand what others will need from you, what you may need from yourself. It will be in these moments where you will have to know that just being kind can be enough. Some may not deserve your kindness, some may not appreciate it, but your heart has the power to heal. You may not always get to see the outcome of your compassion, but you should never allow that to be the reason not to extend it. A touch, a smile, a friendly opening of a door for a stranger; no act of compassion is too small. Most importantly, always remember to be compassionate with yourself. We can hurt, just as others can, and it's never wrong to acknowledge what we need to give ourselves to fix it.
Always keep searching for the wonder.
This life is so fleeting, so brief. We have so many countless opportunities at our fingertips, so many wonderful experiences to revel in. You should live in such a way that you fill yourself with all that is wonderful in this world. There is so much pain, so much hurt out there, that you should do all that you can to nurture it. Never stop reaching for things, pushing yourself. In all that you will come to be faced with in your life, there will always be something you can take from it; both good and bad. There is no life worth living, that isn't filled with the wonder of what you can do, what you can achieve, who you can become. The wonder of life is limitless, just as the wonder of who you are is.
The best kind of life is one filled with love.
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