To Conceive Or Not To Conceive: That Is The Question.

   It has become quite apparent to me, being a mother of two, how intrigued people can be when it comes to how many children you plan to have. I swear, I wasn't even half way through my first pregnancy when people were already asking me when I planned on having my next.

Why all of the interest?

    I understand a bit of the curiosity, having asked many of my own pregnant friends the very same question, but I have noticed a disconnect. It has become the norm in modern day America to have only one or two children, which is completely understandable considering how things are economically. I myself however, have always been quite open about my desire to have a large family, but have also been quite surprised about how people react to that. I mean, I don't necessarily understand when someone tells me they plan to have only one child, but the thought of it doesn't leave me aghast. And that is what I all too often become faced with, people looking at me as though I have three heads.
   What about having a big family leaves people scratching their heads, trying to figure out what in the world I am thinking? I have two brothers and a sister, but my brothers are quite a bit older than I am, so it was only ever my sister and me at home. Also coming from a divorced family, I can say that it sometimes became a bit lonely. If my sister and I were fighting, or I had something that I didn't necessarily feel comfortable talking to her about, I usually found myself five pages deeps into my journal, or trying to explain something to a friend who didn't really understand. Because that is the nice thing about your siblings, they understand a lot of things that the outside world usually doesn't. It is better now as an adult, knowing my brothers are more experienced than I am and have been there, but as a child, I think it would have been nicer to all be a little bit closer together. And I can honestly say that it would have made a lot of things much easier for me.
     I get excited and honestly, quite giddy, about the things more children will bring to our family. I have no delusions that it will always be easy, or that we will always get along, but I am hopeful that at the end of the day, the good will always outweigh the bad. My husband and I have so much love to give, so many lessons to teach, experiences to share. Why does it become so hard for people to understand that we want to create the types of memories that only a large family can bring? We want all of our children to be surround by love, to know that no matter what they are going through, there will always be someone who they can go to, that they will never be alone.
    I look forward to a lifetime of laughter, mischief, and chaos. And when I am old, I look forward to staring into the faces of the children and grandchildren (and God-willing, great-grandchildren) that I will have worked so hard for. Yes, you can do this with two children, but as they always say, to each his own.