I have been a fan of the show Survivor since around the second season. Since then I have heard, countless times, the contestants argue about how to judge the way some people play the game. Many sit on their high horse and claim that the game can be played clean; no lies, no blindsides, no games. Others, more often than not, claim that Survivor is just that; a game. That they shouldn't be chastised on their individual character outside of the game, because that person isn't who they are inside of the game.
In any case, let me bring you to my point.
While watching the show the other night, it dawned on me how parallel the game of Survivor is to the life of being a mother. Inside the world of being a mother it is almost as though your individual character begins to melt away. People can no longer differentiate who you are as a person with who you are as a mother. The two, to their perspective, are one whole. And it begins to become quite frustrating. I never could get use to thinking of myself as that one whole. It's just not that black and white. Understandably, when you have children, there is a huge life change. You aren't always able to do the things that you once were, you need to adjust your responsibilities to that of someone who has a child to care for.
That is one of the hardest things about parenting, to accept that a lot of it is trial and error. You are going to make mistakes, you aren't always going to make the right choice. I think back to when my first son was born and some of the choices I made, or positions I put myself in, and it literally makes me cringe. Three years later and I would never do those things again. That's the upside though, that you can learn from your mistakes and know what not to do later on. As a mother I know that, I know that I'm not perfect. It seems though, that everyone else seems to think that I should be. I feel like I'm constantly being judged and that since I'm a mother, that I should never take a misstep.
But guess what?
This mother is a woman as well. A hot-blooded, mistake-making, decision-fumbling woman. Look past the stroller, the diaper bag, and the screaming toddler; Hi, that's me, Laura-Jean. Oh what's that? You didn't see me? Maybe because you were too busy judging the mother with her screaming children to see the woman having a hard time with her tired babies. The whole thing is really exhausting.
I actually think that the word mother is kind of a misnomer. I like to think of myself as more of a strategist. How am I going to get my son to eat his dinner? How am I going to get the baby to stop crying? How am I going to turn off "mommy mode" when my husband gets home? And most importantly, how am I going to think of new ways to do all of this so that no one catches on to my tactics? It takes a lot of thought, a lot of energy. So next time someone tries to put you inside of a box just because you are a parent, stress to them that you are more like a nesting doll. A woman, inside of a mother, inside of a wife, inside of a daughter, etc...
In any case, let me bring you to my point.
While watching the show the other night, it dawned on me how parallel the game of Survivor is to the life of being a mother. Inside the world of being a mother it is almost as though your individual character begins to melt away. People can no longer differentiate who you are as a person with who you are as a mother. The two, to their perspective, are one whole. And it begins to become quite frustrating. I never could get use to thinking of myself as that one whole. It's just not that black and white. Understandably, when you have children, there is a huge life change. You aren't always able to do the things that you once were, you need to adjust your responsibilities to that of someone who has a child to care for.
That is one of the hardest things about parenting, to accept that a lot of it is trial and error. You are going to make mistakes, you aren't always going to make the right choice. I think back to when my first son was born and some of the choices I made, or positions I put myself in, and it literally makes me cringe. Three years later and I would never do those things again. That's the upside though, that you can learn from your mistakes and know what not to do later on. As a mother I know that, I know that I'm not perfect. It seems though, that everyone else seems to think that I should be. I feel like I'm constantly being judged and that since I'm a mother, that I should never take a misstep.
But guess what?
This mother is a woman as well. A hot-blooded, mistake-making, decision-fumbling woman. Look past the stroller, the diaper bag, and the screaming toddler; Hi, that's me, Laura-Jean. Oh what's that? You didn't see me? Maybe because you were too busy judging the mother with her screaming children to see the woman having a hard time with her tired babies. The whole thing is really exhausting.
I actually think that the word mother is kind of a misnomer. I like to think of myself as more of a strategist. How am I going to get my son to eat his dinner? How am I going to get the baby to stop crying? How am I going to turn off "mommy mode" when my husband gets home? And most importantly, how am I going to think of new ways to do all of this so that no one catches on to my tactics? It takes a lot of thought, a lot of energy. So next time someone tries to put you inside of a box just because you are a parent, stress to them that you are more like a nesting doll. A woman, inside of a mother, inside of a wife, inside of a daughter, etc...
No comments:
Post a Comment