Evolution.

"It wouldn't be so bright, if there wasn't a shadow every once in a while." 

-Jason Mraz

If I have learned anything over the past few years, it's that who I am is ever-changing. I am one of those people who have to work very hard, every day, to keep myself on track to the future self that I envision. I like to think that every choice I make, every next step I choose, is based solely on reasons that are honest to the most positive aspects of mine and my family's life path. Then there are the moments where I realize that maybe I'm not doing that. Where I realize that I may sometimes convince myself of things, really believe in my heart of hearts that I'm making the right choices, and I'm wrong.

How does that happen?
How can I work so hard to keep my heart honest and still be fooled?

Maybe it's not that I'm fooling myself, not really. Maybe it's that a small, tiny, invisible part of myself, allows things to squeeze their way into my subconscious. And then, before I know it, I'm unknowingly allowing outside forces to guide me. Man. That's annoying. I should probably tell my subconscious to quit doing that.

That's what's so brilliant and beautiful about life, though. That there are no rules. Nowhere does it say that I have to hold myself to every single thing I've ever said. We are free to change our minds, to acknowledge things we find written on our hearts that we may not have even known were there.

The most thrilling part of it all, is how enlightenment finds us.

Most times, it's in the most unexpected of ways. Through strangers, random moments, something finding it's way to us at the most perfect of times. Think about it, how many times have you been living your life as normal and you are met with something that gives you great pause. Some times you aren't sure why it resonates with you, other times it's as though The Fates are putting this giant neon sign in your face. As if to say,"HEY! OVER HERE! PAY ATTENTION!"

It has always been really important for me to try and keep my own personal choices in perspective. There are so many opinions and judgements swirling around, that the pressure to conform is always there. How many of us are fearful of verbalizing our deepest hopes and dreams, for fear of what others will say? How many of us actually direct ourselves AWAY from what we truly want, because it's easier than standing our ground against the naysayers?

Even as hard as I try to stop myself from doing this, it still happens.

My most recent personal evolution is this; I will listen to my heart and not to others opinions. I will understand that what makes my heart complete will differ from the hearts of others, and that's okay. I will remind myself that the unkind words and whispers that find their way to me, need to be forgiven. I will not carry resentment in my heart, just because others carry it in theirs. I will remind myself that my choices are mine, I will not allow others to live my life for me. I will not be afraid to do the things that bring me joy. I will not make choices that are short-sighted. I will remember that the choices I may make for the wrong reasons today, will haunt me many years from now. I should never have regrets over things that are completely in my control. I will always explain my reasons to those who do not understand, but I will not change my choices by their reactions.

I was recently at a bridal shower where each guest was asked to give the future married couple a token of advice. What I told them, I believe, is something that ALL people should take into account, not just married couples.

I said:

"Communicate without fear or judgement. Always open your hearts and minds, before your mouth."

Starting at this moment, I am moving forward with the truest form of positivity, making every choice as honestly as I can. By making the choice to ignore any and all negativity that is inflicted upon me, I feel empowered and truly joyful.