You know you're a Mommy when...
More often than not, the day of the week escapes you...
In fact, the time of day does as well...
(but you better believe you know when it's bedtime...lol.)
You feel like an emotional schizophrenic at least 10x a day...
Your day to day look ranges between frumpy chic and disheveled casual...
It's 3:00 PM before you realize you haven't had anything other than coffee today...
Finding an entire bowl of popcorn in your son's pillowcase doesn't even cause you to bat an eye...
(and yes, the popcorn was made yesterday, and he did in fact sleep on it...)
The question, "What's for dinner?", may cause you to spontaneously combust...
You've seriously considered changing your name from "Mommy", to an undisclosed name your children must never find out...
You start to form conspiracy theories that your children have placed a tracking device on your person...
(they will always find you...)
You realize the old adage, "be sure to sleep when they sleep", must have been some cruel inside joke...
(because they NEVER sleep...)
There are several times a day where you are grateful your children can't understand sarcasm...
Your dreams start to involve cartoon characters...
(nothing is more frightening than a Yo Gabba Gabba nightmare...)
Anyone who tries to give you parenting advice that doesn't come equipped with a nap and a margarita?
(let's just say they are offering it at their own risk...)
When that shower you waited until 1:00 AM to take, so you could be alone, ends in a real-life psycho moment...
(as I said, they will always find you; even if it means waking themselves up in the dead of night)
You replace your "Beware of Dog" sign, with one that says "Beware of Children"...
When your hairdresser casually refers to the state of your head as "Mom Hair"...
You realize that baths and cleaning your children are pointless...
(they are perpetually dirty...)
When none of this matters, because you get to kiss, hug, love, and smother, faces like these...
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